The Silver Shoe Dilemma

Cycling culture is a vicious circle of do’s and better-not-if-you-don’t-want-to-get-laughed-at’s. For example, the question of what kind of tires should you ride is always plagued by that nagging voice in the back of your head...”if you show up with your otherwise expensive equipment shod in cheap wire-bead tires, you’ll be the laughingstock of the pack tonight. On the other hand, if you show up with expensive kevlar belted, ultra-light folding bead tires, you run the risk of being derided as a “poseur”. (Note, nobody really knows what kind of tires you're riding, the bead is hidden within the rim and only an expert, which every cyclist fancies himself to be, could know the difference. Especially on the move).

Another example: Do I carry one water bottle, two water bottles, or no water bottles on the ride tonight? If I carry two, I should have plenty of water, but risk being called a fred who doesn’t care about the all important extra grams I’m hauling around. If I carry none, I look cool until I get dropped. Then I’m just the foolish fred who forgot or ingored the importance of hydration.

The antidote to this dilemma, of course, is speed. If you have it, nothing else matters. If you don’t, nothing else matters. Another example. I have friend with whom I occasionally ride. Doug doesn’t really care what anybody thinks and has no problem hauling around every tool known to mankind in his oversized fanny pack, and does so on cheap wire bead tires of dubious lineage. Doug realizes that if you’re keeping up with him, you’re going to be wheezing too hard to make any comments about his cycling accoutraments. And if you can’t keep up with him, when you do see him again, you’ll look pretty silly criticizing his style, since he’s still clearly faster than you. Again, speed trumps everything.

I could go on and on with example of how speed can make up for a multitude of style and/or equipment faux pas, but then I’d never get to the point of this post...so...

A few years ago, I went shopping for new cycling shoes. I had worn out my old (circa 1987) colorful Look shoes (how I loved those genuine leather baby’s!). I had my heart set on a pair of Sidi Genius shoes. While the leather is faux, they still feel like slippers on a foot and I knew after trying on many pairs that this was the shoe I had to have.

There was just one problem. The only pair in town in my size was silver. Buying silver shoes is perfectly okay. It’s the actual wearing of them where you get into trouble. You see, in cycling culture, if you wear shoes of a color other than black, you’d better be able to back it up. Wearing silver shoes screams “hey everybody, look at me, I’m fast!!!”

I begged the shop owner to order a pair of black ones for me. Can’t do it he said, next season’s shoes are all I can get and the price has jumped considerably because they’re an “improved” model. “But it’s okay” he said, “I’ve seen you on the Pain Train. You can wear silver shoes.”

So I went ahead and bought them. And nobody gave me a second glance until I started to neglect my training this year. Now every time I get dropped, I wish I’d spray painted my shoes black before the ride.

So I’ve thought about this all season long and I’ve come up with some options.

I could buy black shoes, but I can’t afford the current model of the shoes I have now, so I’d have to downgrade to do that. And my wife would kill me if I bought new cycling shoes while she is searching through the closet for shoes of just the right shade of blue to wear to church on Sunday.

So that option won’t fly.

So now we’re back to the only real solution. Speed. Remember, it trumps everything. I need to get fast again. Meanwhile I’ll print up a sign that I can pin to my back before every ride that says:

I am not a poseur. I was fast when I bought these silver shoes. I know I’m still wearing them and I’m not fast now, but I hope to be fast again some day. To that end I’m investing money in a training program instead of black shoes. Please be patient with me and don’t laugh. By the way, can I borrow a water bottle?